May 2004 Worship Services

Ministerial Cognitions

*In real love you want the other person’s good. In romantic love, you want the other person.* -Margaret Anderson

This month, I will be officiating three weddings. May and June are the months that many couples are chose to get married. When I meet with these, usually young, couples, we talk about why they want to get married by a minister and why they want some to get married right now and what their religious backgrounds are.

In these discussions, I usually find that some couples really love their partner, while others just want to be with the other person. The latter couples are still in that honeymoon phase of romantic love that we all know will eventually pass. I generally give them advice about long term love—that love really has more to do with wanting the best for their partner, as well as taking care of one’s self. Some couples listen to this--seemly fatherly (not like priest fatherly)—advice.

And there is no difference in how I work with heterosexual couples and same-sex couples in preparing for a service of sacred union. The commitment made to one’s partner is the same whether it is sanctioned by the state or not. The commitment is made before friends, family, and the spirit of love, that some call God. Most couples make this commitment with serious consideration; at least most of the couples whose weddings and sacred union services I have officiated have seemed to give serious consideration to this commitment.

In the UU World Magazine this month, a gay couple talked about not wanting to rush off to get married in San Francisco just because they could. They wanted to give serious consideration to their decision. But they changed their minds, “as time went on through that Valentine’s Day weekend, we saw how really important this was. It became of like, we need to stand up and be counted.”

Most heterosexual couples don’t have to face this idea of wanting to be stand up and be counted. They don’t have to face not being allowed to get married because of their sexual orientation. They don’t have to face a limited window to make a decision whether they will be allowed to get married.

As Unitarian Universalists, we advocate for social justice and social equality. Allowing same-sex couples the same rights as heterosexual couples—the right to be married, not just in the eyes of friends, family, and spirit, but in the eyes of the state as well—is a social equality issue we must stand up for.

In this spring time, in this time when love is in the air, let us not discriminate who may love whom. Let us support all couples who chose to live a committed relationship of love and caring. And let us work to aid those whose civil rights are restricted because they love and are committed to someone of the same sex.

Worship Services:

May 2

Islamic Schaller Fethullah Gulen and His Works on Interfaith Dialog by Dr. Yetkin Yildrem

Dr. Yetkin Yildrem, Vice President and founding member of the Institute of Interfaith Dialog, and Faculty Interfaith Coordinator for Peace and Conflict Studies at the University of Texas at Austin will speak on Interfaith dialog.

May 9

Same-Sex Marriage by Rev. Tom Capo

Why are so many Unitarian Universalist ministers at the heart of this controversy? Is there anything in the Bible to support a ban on Same-Sex Marriages? Why are so many people so upset by all this anyway? On each of our spiritual journeys we must stand up for certain causes that are foundational to our faith-this one is important to me.

May 16

A Paith to Forgiveness by Rev. Tom Capo

There are many paths to forgiveness. Virtually every religion describes some path to forgiveness and the need to forgive. We will look at one path that led to forgiveness and why this was so important. We will also officially recognize the members of our congregation who have joined this year. If you joined the congregation this year, please join us for this special ceremony.

May 23

A Spiritual Journey by Father Gus Lapeyrouse

Father Gus Lapeyrouse will share his spiritual journey that led him to become an American Catholic Priest. He will also share with us about the American Catholic Church-its traditions and its message.

May 30

Socialization and Conformity in American Schools by Charlie Lounmala